BITTER OLD FOOL

Oh Jimmy Carter! I wish we could say we’ve missed your sorry ass since you were quite unceremoniously dumped from the White House by a very disappointed electorate in 1980, but we can’t, for two reasons. One, nobody has fond memories of your disastrous term on Pennsylvania Avenue. Two, you won’t get your toothy grin out of our lives long enough to be missed. You’re like a chronic hemorrhoid on the ass of the Democrats’ donkey. Please quit embarrassing us with your anti-American escapades. How about going on a mission to save the word by eradicating killer rabbits? Remember when you were attacked by a rabbit, Jimmy? My God, how embarrassing…for US, not you! What a Wus! The only killer rabbit in the entire world and it had to attack a United States President…a President who couldn’t successfully defend himself against a bunny. And you haven’t figure out why you couldn’t persuade the Ayatollah Khomeini and Iran to release the 52 American hostages they seized and kept captured for well over a year during your disastrous tenure?! To rub salt in the wound, enter President Reagan and the hostages were released moments later.

Here is what Jimmy had to say about one of the most influential and popular leaders of modern times, Great Britain’s Prime Minister Tony Blair: “I think that the almost undeviating support by Great Britain for the ill-advised policies of President Bush in Iraq have been a major tragedy for the world.” He also called PM Blair: “Abominable. Loyal, blind, apparently subservient.” This from a person like Carter to a man like Blair???

This Carter creep is the guy who Hugo Chavez sent running for his saggy life when he went to Venezuela to “monitor” elections. He did such a good job monitoring that Chavez, who hates America and Americans more than Jane Fonda, won a very questionable, steeper than landslide, election victory. Carter also gave his stamp of approval to the sham election of Yasser Arafat in 1996. A historical lover of socialism and even dictatorships, he decided to sit out the Iraq elections because….How do I put this politely? I’m guessing he didn’t want any part of George Bush getting credit for helping to establish a democratically elected government in Iraq! He would, it seems, begrudge Iraq a democracy simply because George Bush helped make it happen. What a piece of work this Jimmy guy is! But no problem helping Venezuela establish a socialist state!?

And he regurgitates this puke on foreign soil, on BBC radio!? C’mon Libs…I understand a lot of your grievances, but how is the United States of America itself such a grievance that you have to spew your uncontrolled diatribe directly to foreign audiences? Have some pride…control yourself and your anger for a change and do something constructive with it (hear me, Dixie Sluts...er, Chicks?)!

Sen. John Cornyn (R-Texas), during a meeting on immigration legislation, told Sen. John McCain (R-AZ), when McCain objected to part of the bill, that McCain had been too busy campaigning for president and hadn’t contributed much, telling him he can’t just “…parachute in here on the last day” and accuse Cornyn of voicing “petty objections”. “You’re out of line.” To which McCain replied, “F__k You! I know more about this than anyone in the room!” Not much, but I think McCain is borderline certifiable and needs to let go of his presidential aspirations so we can breath some fresh air. So like I said, not much, but it speaks to his temperament.

If you’re tired of all of this kind of stuff, I highly recommend you treat yourself and someone else to a screening of “Shrek The Third.” Extremely entertaining…dry, sophisticated adult humor and chuckle-out-loud funny! If you have a sense of humor (sorry Speaker Pelosi), it’s GREAT STUFF!!! GO SEE IT!

JD.