ALL'S NOT ROSIE - THANKFULLY!

Jeez! I never thought exploiting the stupidity of hypocrites would be so satisfying. Buy you know what? I bet that’s the same kind of thing the likes of Sheryl Crow and Rosie O’Donnell say about the Bush Administration…Actually, I’ve never heard them speak that kindly of the Administration.

As you undoubtedly know by now, Crow and Laurie David (wife of Seinfeld creator, Larry David) have been on a “Stop Global Warming College Tour”, riding in their “eco-friendly bus.” Let’s pretend for a moment that we don’t know that Laurie David refuses to fly commercial so she uses a private jet to crisscross the country between LA and New York. Oh, you didn’t know that? Hell, that’s just for starters…but I digress. When the white trash of pop announced her solution to global warming, even the white trash of talk couldn’t agree. Crow’s suggestion that we use one sheet of toilet paper per ‘event’ didn’t even pass the scrutiny of the lazy, jump-on-any-bandwagon, don’t-try-an-original-thought Hollywood crowd. In fact Rosie had to ask Sheryl, on “The View,” “Have you seen my ass?!” Well, how could we miss it, Rosie. And thanks for the visual. By the way, Barbara Walters was kind enough to warn viewers not to use their sleeves, another of Crow’s helpful suggestions. Yuck!

Back to the white trash of pop. This is someone who, according to TheSmokingGun.com, demands in her performance rider for each show to include three tractor trailers, four buses and six cars for her entourage. She also insists on 12 bottles of Grolsch beer, six bottles of “local” beer and a bottle each of “good Australian Cabernet” and “good Merlot.” Have another drink, Sheryl! – And then tell me more how to sacrifice!

Now back to the white trash of talk. At a luncheon yesterday celebrating women in New York media, the ever classless O’Donnell, who was MC at the event, railed against Donald Trump by grabbing her crotch and shouting, “Eat me!” Well, being vulgar is one thing and everyone has to have a talent, I suppose, but there were 17 high school girls in the room and her comment wasn’t lost on them or others accompanying them, who thought the comment inappropriate. That’s just a ‘sample’ of how the MC job was played out.

Let’s not stop there, though. Seems Rosie wasn’t the only Lesbian at a recent taping of “The View.” After taping of the episode, audience members were kept in the studio for a performance by “All My Children’s” resident - are you ready for this? - “male-to-female transgendered British lesbian rock star, Zarf/Zoe/Freddy.” Huh????!!! I guess the set doubled for a taping of………whatever…..

So I just watched Charles Gibson parrot the old story about women making something like 25 percent less than men in equal positions. Have any of you ever looked into this statistic? Well, obviously Charlie and his lazy staff have not. But we don’t expect ABC to let facts and sound reporting get in the way of a sensationalized story! I don’t know if any of you readers out there are employers, but wouldn’t you hire only women if you could get them for 25 percent less? I’m pretty sure the Company I work for would! But that’s a whole other half-told story that we can discuss some other time.

Back to the toilet paper issue. Maybe Sheryl meant this; if you download an episode of "The View" onto your IPod and wrap it in one sheet of toilet paper, you could cover four or five asses at one time…depending on whether Babwa was there. You think?

Let’s talk about abortion, crime and a dead Romanian President. Okay, tomorrow!
Or maybe oil. We’ll see…

JD.